January 13, 2002

Dear Diary,

I am going to write Mom today. I usually call here for lack of time, and try not to share the uglies of life. However, this is one time that my heart needs to overflow. Mom will share, and react just as I would have someone. I need that. It has been a week since I caused the Ripley “Animal Pound” to be closed. I have been caught up in so many aspects of the closure, other cruelty concerns, and the management and care of Project Hope. I feel that we have all rolled right along, and if I don’t share the plight of the animals there with Mom, I too will have just moved on.

Hi, Mom,

I hope this letter finds you having a better day. I know you suffer. I hate it. I love you Mom. I would take your pain, at least as much as I could stand if I could. I have my lifetime of sorrows, and illnesses that you always shared. You are so Precious. I wish I could have known how to be a more loving child. I was the little me that I was – big heart, but often too introspective (plainly speaking, selfish).

I have had a couple of really busy weeks. There is no excuse for my not calling. Thank you that you called the other night. There is so much I would have shared with you. If you were here I know you would have gotten right in and helped me.

The animals at Project Hope are mostly doing very well. Danielle, Shelby, and Dolly (the horses) are fine. Shelby is really enjoying his new stable. Rick built the bottom half, and Mr. Mims’ crew put on the roof.

Natalie, Susie, and Emma have new pig quarters, and so do Nanny, and Sabra (the goats).
It’s a kick though, Susie and Emma decided to sleep under the corner of our office porch, and Natalie often sacks in near them. One of the little buildings came in really handy this week. We had some 8 visiting puppies. They all got homes. They were as cute as could be. Absolutely adorable! Their dad was an English Shepherd, and Mom is likely a Black & Tan hound cross. We haven’t been accepting animals, because we are at caring capacity, but these little guys, and their mom were abandoned in the cold rain.

Daneal, our part time caregiver has been sick with bronchitis, so Tina, a friend from Silver Leaf has helped us out. It was really divine intervention. I drove up one morning, and Tina had just pulled up to say hi. It was timing at it’s best.Stella was adopted. I miss her, but I am so happy for her. Remember, she was the dog I rescued right before Daddy died. On my way to get her I had to slam on my brakes for a dog that was lying in the road, and my metal “dog box” slammed through my back window. It was a really cold night. Precious Stella, and her 3 girls were certainly worth the trip. Boots, the last of her girl’s to be placed is doing so well. I can’t believe it has been three years.
Yesterday we placed 4 of the remaining 5 puppies, and Charlie Brown, and Osha (Arabic for life). Chelsea is supposed to go home in 2 weeks. I will really miss her. She has been my little angel for over 3 years. It is sad that people perceive beauty with their eyes. It’s true that her 3 sisters were darling, and sweet, but she is stouthearted and loving. I really like her new guardians. They saw the puppies, and other dogs, and chose between Mikey and Chelsea, the 2 that have waited so long for their own families.

Gay is fostering the lone pup. He was actually supposed to go home yesterday, but the woman who chose him couldn’t get back to PetSmart. I hope she contacts us to find out that he, little Julio, is waiting for her.
Tyler went to Doc’s today. He may have a small hernia. I am sure he will be fine. He is a little prince. I took him to PetSmart for a bath yesterday. Everyone fell in love with him. The groomer kept him with her most of the day. He is so endearing.

I’m, going to heat up my tea and come right back. I need a good hot swig to tell you the goings on of the last 2 weeks. Oh, yesterday I had a baked potato that was just like the ones you make. It was great. It is the first I have had that is soft, moist, and yummy like yours.

I called Doc. Tyler is fine. Daneal just came in to see what I needed for her to do. I asked her if she would pick up “Tidy-man”, and to get some snacks for Paxton (our rat resident).

Rick has gone to Jackson to pick up dog food from our PetSmart. We didn’t have room to bring it back yesterday. Also, a Petsmart customer brought us a large wadding pool, and a super-size igloo doghouse that I had to leave in the back. With the van full of carriers there was no room to bring those goodies back.

Our friend Stacy brings her 10-year-old daughter to PetSmart to help us almost every Sunday. While we were there yesterday we received a call from a hospital administrator asking for our help. A man from out-of-town was being admitted for at least the night, and he had his little dog with him. Stacy is such a sweetie. She headed right out to help the man and his dog out. I was so grateful. Last Sunday a woman drove up with a little dog that she had rescued off of the highway. Another friend of ours took her home. Her guardian(s) haven’t been located yet.

We are so thankful to have friends in Jackson when something like this comes up. In both cases the dogs needed to stay in Jackson to be close to where their guardians were.

Well, it has certainly been a mess here. I know Gay told you that I have been working on several cruelty cases this week. Two sanitary engineers (garbage collectors) saw a retired vet putting something in his garbage. They thought he acted suspiciously, so they checked the can out before dumping it. There was a Yorky puppy inside. One of the men has the pup at his home. I have been to the man’s house twice trying to pen him down to get him to the courthouse to sign an affidavit against the retired vet, who is now a breeder. The pup is darling, and seems perfectly healthy. I won’t give up.

The little pit bull that lives next to Sharon is still being neglected. I have gone to the neighbor’s house with the police twice. Animal Control has been there (although I must say they have not been proactive), and the Grenada City officials, save one, seem puzzled as to how to deal with the case. I am now trying to work through the prosecuting attorney’s office to get something done. Doc went out and he looked at the dog from a neighbors yard. He wrote a statement for me that basically says the dog seems emaciated, and needs to get in for a check up. You know all three of our vets are together now. He checked their records. The only record he has for Boomer is from April of 2001 when he had mange. It seems that since the husband l to the guardian of Boomer left, she hasn’t taken him in for anything. All I know is that I have been out there numerous times and he never has water. Saturday gay went with me and I took a ladder, a flat large container, and 3 gallons of water. She was my witness that the dog had no water, and that I didn’t trespass to give him water. I climbed the ladder and dropped the container over 8’ rear fence. Then I filled it with water. I am having more trouble helping this one little dog than I have when I found hundreds of animals in trouble.

Gay told you about the Ripley “Pound” horror story. Sometimes I just can’t believe that I a real, that what I am seeing, and doing is real. How could people be so apathetic? How can they pretend that they don’t know when something is very wrong? I tell you there was a lot of finger pointing going on, and each finger had a thumb pointing right back at the claimant.

I got a call from a young woman who used to live in Grenada. I spoke to her when she lived here, because her dog was stolen from the shelter. Basically, her dog got out, was picked up, and she went straight down to the shelter to get him out. She was told that she couldn’t have him until Monday when the City Clerk would be in her office. There was an impoundment fee to pay, and they couldn’t receive the money. Well, her dog was missing on Monday. She was told that her dog was stolen, but the ACOs had conflicting stories to tell. IDA announced that we were offering a $2,500.00 reward for his return, and information leading to the prosecution of whoever took him. Sadly, nothing ever came of it.

Anyway, she remembered us and called to tell us that she went to the Ripley animal shelter just before Christmas to adopt a dog. When she got there she saw a dead, and rotting dog lying in the yard, and said that all of the dogs had mange. It just so happened that I was going to the Ripley Trade & Sell Day the next morning to check on the animals there.

When I got to the trade day it was still early. I started taking pictures of the animals that were inhumanely caged, and told a young girl who was feeding the animals her dad sells to give there little pig some hay. It was freezing out, and the little pig was miserable.

The yardman spotted me. He is the same guy who made me leave one time when I was documenting the violations of an Illinois animal dealer (who was later shut down). Well, he told me to leave. I would have pushed it, because a reporter was supposed to meet me there, but I didn’t want to get into a ruckus that would delay my getting to the shelter. The Trade day has better ears than his. I did stop, and direct him to violations my entire way out. Then I had a long talk with 2 other employees, who were reasonable. He came and told them to stop talking to me, and hurried me on. His feeble attempt at letting me know he was a humanitarian was to accuse me of being anti-human. I guess he needs a few lessons there too, huh?

Mom, when I drove up to the shelter I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know the 3 women that started the shelter. It was a disaster site. Through the fence I could see scores of trembling naked dogs. It was 9:08 a.m. and it was still really cold. As many dogs as could fit along the side of a 4’ cinder-block wall, that was to be the beginning of runs, were huddled to break the wind, and catch the bit of heat the morning sun was providing.

A little red chow pup, maybe 4 months old, was sitting in a small refrigerator produce pan. Mom, when help finally got there that evening, he was still in the pan.

I could see little dogs, and puppies crowded into the 6 fenced runs that were under the awning of the small building. A front window was broken and even in the cold the stench permeated the air.

I had called Liegh, the young woman who contacted me. She and her husband went out with me, and now we hurried to their house for me to make the many calls I would have to make. I called the woman who started the animal shelter. I only got answering machines, but told them that it was imperative that they get right down there. I called Dr. Katz to let him know that we would have to be fully involved in getting the dogs out, and shutting the place down. I called Rick to let him know what was going on, and I called a buddy at Ch. 9.

Of course, I called Bob and Robin for help. I knew they would get right out. Bob and a woman named Susan have started a local group named Compassion First. They got on the phone with a shelter that said that they would help, but couldn’t be mentioned. They aren’t supposed to take animals from outside of their jurisdiction. I called our old friends at Oxford. They said I could bring all of the puppies and kitten there.

The shelter did not keep cats. The precious man who lives in the trailer in front of the shelter was trying to keep cats, kittens, and puppies in his trailer to save them from going into the shelter. He has a heart condition, and hardly the means to care for himself. It was really sad to see the condition he had gotten into trying to help the animals.

Leigh and I went back to the shelter to wait for someone with a key. The first people to show up were the caretaker, Margaret, and her mother. Margaret let us in, and behaved like although it was bad, it was normal. She tried to tell me she had cleaned regularly, and that the animals were better off than being dead. I wasn’t ugly to her. There was a lot about her that made me feel sorry for her condition. She clearly came from abject poverty, and possibly didn’t know a whole lot better than what she was doing. She did leave after I called her on some falsehoods. When she told me she had cleaned the day before, I just said, ”I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but this place hasn’t been cleaned for a very long time”. She attempted to put the blame elsewhere, but Mom there was no excuse for her collecting a salary to do work she wasn’t doing, and to not have demanded help from the humane society, or officials. It was probably good that she did leave. She said she was going to buy food. She never came back.

Daneal is back, Mom. I’ll be right back. I want to hug “tidy-man”. I’m back. Tidy-man is fine. Doc said the hernia is tiny, just to watch it.

Anyway, Mom, you can’t believe what the place was like. There were only about 8 dogs that weren’t covered in mange. Many of the dogs were missing patches of skin; some had holes larger than quarters where there bones had lay on the cement, and earth. The grounds hadn’t been cleaned of feces for months. It was appalling. The floor in the little building had a layer of accumulated rat feces. There were dead rats in 2 of the 6 runs. When I went into the enclosed yard some of the dogs came to me, others fled, some were simply resigned to their fate. A precious golden retriever mix hadn’t lost his generous heart for people. The little chow pup didn’t get out of the pan when I leaned down and caressed him. A small white dog with black spots, and a sheltie claimed a pile of broken cinder blocks for their dry mountain. I kept hearing the cries of 2 little dogs that were being abused by larger dogs. There were maybe 6 wooden hutches that dogs crowded into for warmth. That’s where most of the commotion over space was taking place. Oh, the stench. I peered into the hutches to see how many dogs were looking at. It was hard to tell where one dog started, and another began. I felt badly when some of them crawled out to get away from me. Unless they were dominant enough they had lost their warm spot.

Maxine showed up. She hadn’t been at the shelter for 2 months. She was disgusted, but I didn’t see the shock I expected to see. Maybe I just read her wrong. She really is a caring person. I just couldn’t imagine the 3 volunteers not checking on the shelter they started, even if they had given up. For years they tired to get the city and county to do more towards the effort. Clearly, everything that had been done was a mess.

The building was run down, and inadequate. The runs hadn’t even been completed. There were no tops or gates on the 6 runs beyond the roof. The drains that had been cemented in were too high to serve as drains. The filth that Margaret had tried to wash out became a standing waste site. Even if the runs had been completed, and the drains properly installed, they went straight into the dog yard. The only drainpipe that left the facility went just beyond the cyclone fence. There it ran out and collected along the fence. The drain channels from the 6 runs were too shallow to drain. The waste just went right back inside with enclosed dogs. What madness.

The runs and houses were littered with dog food bags, and pieces of human clothing that had had accumulated for months. While the intent to aid the dogs was there, how in the world would you not know to change the materials out when they became laden with filth.

Bob, and Robin showed up and jumped right in to help. Ch 9 came and covered the surreal story.

I’ll be right back. There’s a man at the gate, and Daneal is busy with the evening feeding.

Poor, guy, he lost his dog today. I know him. He’s a local contractor. He was working at the gas station just across the interstate, and his dog disappeared. He has taken him to work with him for years. Someone told him there was a female dog he left with. I need to stop for a moment and call all the neighbors to be on the lookout for Blue. He is a Blue Queensland Heeler, Border Collie mix. Really a great dog!

No one is home, but Diane. I’ll have to try later. While I was up Emily claimed my chair. Julio is having a ball with Tyler and Annie. I brought Annie in the office too. Daneal is leaving and I don’t want Annie to go to the gate.

Back to the saga. Luanne, one of the 3 ladies that started the shelter arrived. She said she hadn’t been there for 4 months, and said they wouldn’t pay Margaret this month’s salary for the care of the dogs. Again, she wasn’t nearly as upset as I thought she would be. Before the ordeal was over, I learned that everyone really knew that things weren’t okay, even the ACO had told the mayor there were too many dogs there, but no one wanted the responsibility that went along with doing what was right for the animals.

The before dusk a representative, and 2 helpers from the shelter I told you couldn’t be mentioned arrived. They came in a van. They were supposed to take big dogs, but wound up taking over half of the puppies and only a few adult dogs that they could fit in. The “Ripley Humane Society” folks called the vet had offered to euthanize dogs for them in the past. He had encouraged them not to keep so many dogs. His assistant had worked at the shelter until she had enough of working without a facility, supplies, and tools.

When the vet showed up the volunteers split. They said that they had been ill recently and needed to get out of the cold. I felt that Luanne was simply overwhelmed by the state of things, and probably felt responsibility. Maxine helped for a bit. The Mayor wasn’t home so no one could reach him.

Bottom line, everyone responsible had left the sinking ship. All responsibility was left behind with Bob, Robin, Susan, the 3 folks from the unnamed shelter, and myself. Before Luanne left the vet asked me what his role was to be. I delayed Luanne’s exit until she, the person who writes the checks for the shelter gave him direction. Sadly, it had come to the worst. He was asked to euthanize all of the dogs that we could not move. The sweet and compassionate man that he is, I know he was sickened. If they had listened to him when he offered aid, and advice it wouldn’t have come to this, mass slaughter.

Who was there to help? Let’s figure it out. Bob, Robin, and I scrambled to remove as many dogs as we believed we could take to Oxford. The other van was full. Susan even put dogs in crates inside, and in the bed of her truck. We were numbed by the helplessness of not having somewhere to take these precious animals. Project Hope was full to the max. We had steadily helped in such situations. A few months back we had even taken 16 dogs from the Oxford shelter to relieve there crowding.

We asked the vet to only euthanize the dogs that couldn’t suffer the horridly cold night. To make them linger, when hope for them going anywhere was unimaginable was cruel. We set up the 6 covered runs to handle as many dogs as we hoped we might get someone to take in the next two days. Susan, Bob, and Robin said they would return Sunday to feed, and move a few they hoped to. They did come and feed, but there was nowhere to take anyone.

Monday, the Mayor, the President of the Board of Supervisors, and 2 other officials met me at the site. More media arrived, and it was official, the signs that were put up said, ”Animal Pound Closed”. I told the officials that I had heard from all sides, and there was plenty of blame to go around, but that wasn’t going to undo the tragedy.

We publicly agreed to meet to assess what steps must be taken to rid the sight of the accumulated filth, and to set sights on reopening, most likely on the other side of the property.

The vet came back. It had turned to dark for him to complete his weighty task Saturday. He would have to finish. The ACO arrived to aid him, and Robin and I made our last ditch effort to figure out who we could possibly move elsewhere.

The vet said that he would hold 2 dogs for me if I could move them within the week. The other vets we contacted simply had no space, or didn’t want to deal with the challenge of keeping their clients dogs free of whatever these poor creatures might be carrying. Even my best friends at shelters far away couldn’t take on another “hard-luck-case”. There is a void of shelters from county to county, and the ones that do exist are overburdened.

By the way, the humane society hadn’t called anyone to bury the dogs that were killed on Saturday. They were decomposing in the large bins they had been placed in. No one would go into the building. The ACO tried, but he began to wretch. Robin and I went in. How could we leave them there with the other animals still there. We struggled, but managed to get them out and into the bulldozer scoop. We were sickened.

In the dreaded time that animals were taken out to their permanent freedom from our calloused stewardship, Robin and I chose those that we held hope for. Among the dogs that I moved was a small Chihuahua, terrier cross I named Tiffany. She had a broken left knee, and lesser mange. Then I named Charlie, a Golden Retriever cross, fully engulfed in sarcoptic mange.

I am grieved that a little white dog that I aided out of her filthy hutch wasn’t among the saved. In the madness she was killed. There her limp little body lay on top of the pile in the scoop. I am very sad. I know they all deserved to live. They all deserved never to have suffered, but she seemed to epitomize their helplessness, and innocence. Little precious! She haunts me. Could I have done any more? What must I do? I am desperately without an answer. I am constantly reminded that when I do to much I get off kilter – but 1, just one more. If I had only grabbed her up and run with her. Mom, I am so saddened.

A representative from the Oxford shelter joined us. She had planned to come with me that morning, but her son was sick. She was wonderful. We got Billy; the elderly gentle man who was caring for the puppies and kittens to let her take the remaining cats, and kittens. I promised him that I would take 3 to the vets for altering, and health screening. The cats he so dearly cared for were rampant with upper-respiratory. Poor, Billy, he was devastated, and relieved at the same time.

Wednesday morning Bob, and I met with the Mayor. He is a caring man. He simply didn’t realize how out of hand things were, and didn’t want to interfere with to humane societies business. It was clear that he regretted the decision, and not just because the City had received such horrible notoriety.

We actually had a great meeting. Bob, and Compassion First have offered contract with the City, and County to operate their shelter, when they get a new one in order.

The Ripley Trade & Sell Day, and its negative effect on the abandoned animal population of the county was a point of discussion. Actually, there were many ideas proposed that could greatly aid everyone, especially the animals of the area. What a tragedy that there wasn’t the compelling desire to address all of these critical issues before so many animals suffered such prolonged agony. When will we humans ever learn?

Death count, 40 dogs,? cats, and the 38 dogs that made it out are still not in the clear. The truth is, I wish I didn’t have to know. I didn’t contribute to this madness, but the knowledge that it exists compels me to do everything you taught me, and a few things I’ve learned along the way to help.

Mom, I know it is hard to accept that I am not with you. I can only pray that you understand that you are precious to me. I would love to be with you, to see my friends when I want, to go to the places we love, but I am simply your daughter, and you and Daddy set the example. I am thankful to have been raised by people who care. I never want to be found uncaring.

I Love You Huge Bunches, Forever, Mama Bear.

Dolly Bear

I hope I never write you another letter this long. My back hurts from sitting. I know you didn’t need to hear the awful stuff, but I miss you. I remember when you came home from work when I was in Jr. High and found me upset about something I didn’t want to talk about. Remember, a group of kids at school had found a nest with baby birds and had joined into a vicious mob and stomped them until they were unrecognizable? In Iran I saw so many animals that were without any hope of salvation. Mom, I can’t just lead a normal life. I must do something to end the madness. Even if what I do never changes people, the animals that I help will breathe in relief.
Thanks for listening Mom. Os Xs and Love